Unrestrained, excessive self-indulgence is something that you can't really describe, it's more of a state of pure ecstasy. Whether it's cheating on your diet, your spouse, doing drugs after staying sober, sneaking out late at night, punching that son of a bitch in the face cause you know they deserve it, something thats more than just a guilty pleasure. Something you would do no matter what the consequences were. The king of all the guilty pleasures, the master of all naughty indulgences, just a beautiful sin waiting for you to commit it. Everyone has one, and mine crept into my mind today and these are some thoughts on the subject, haha [:

The world is lucky i know how to restrain myself from things. If there wasnt that invisible boundry in my mind that i know i shouldn't cross, i would do the most unbelievable things and rely strictly on my instincts.
My goodness, chaos would reign if humans were like that, there are some people who do live somewhat freely on their intuitions, but there are just some lines i do not cross. But i really do want to stop time sometimes and do everything i'm craving to do, all the things that cross my mind every day, and just surrender to my raw emotions. But for only so long, can a person contain themselves, you can wait, ignore it, maybe even forget about it, but it will always return, and take full control of your body and mind. Just be careful, needs are vicious. Here are 3 haikus on the subject lol.

3 Haikus

i just might give in
give myself the right delight
strictly crazy night

meet the boy you love
open a few beers tonight
erase memory

only just tonight
can i feel the sweet bad life
i just might give in

Whenever someone says the word "finally", its usually a good reference. And in saying that, finally I feel like something in my life is going right, i've finally realized what i deserve and who i am with and who i should really be with and maybe even who i should become someday. I seemed to be inspired yesterday when the sun finally came out after days of rain and poor weather. The cloudy, cold, damp, icky days just make me incredibly depressed and just as i start to cheer up and my spirits start to lift the sun comes out and its an amazing feeling to have, finally. Things in my life seem to be falling into place, well at least a little. Here is my poem reflected and modeled after e.e. cummings.

I Carry Your Heart With Me
By e.e. cummings
 
i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

I Carry Your Note With Me
By Liz Alkhazov

I carry your note with me, I carry it in my pocket
I am never without it anywhere
Where it goes, I go, for It is dear to me
and wherever the note goes, it is your doing, my darling
i fear i may lose it
no loss of time, for it is my sweet time
no pain for it is the beautiful emotion that is my world, my true
and it's whatever a watch or ring has always meant
and whatever a book could read to you

there is my deepest secret nobody knows
here is the sun of the rise and the start of the day
and the passion of something called love; which grows
larger than the soul can hope or mind can hide
and this is the wonder that's keeping rain drops apart

I carry your note, [I carry it in my pocket]


I hope my poetry can even compare to his, his poem is truly enchanting. I write a lot, not just poetry, I hope to improve upon it through my years.

I believe I took this picture about two years ago. I took it at this lake called Berry Pond..I'm not sure why it's called a pond when it resembles more of a lake haha. Well it's not the best photograph ever, but it just tells a story. I've had that beach towel since I was very little. Theres nothing like that feeling of going to the beach for the first time in the summer. We, lucky New Englanders get to experiance seasons. I used to love winter when I was younger but as I grew up I realized I wasn't a fan of coldness, dry skin, and a weak immune system. Instead I was more pulled towards warmth, tan skin and the beach.

This summer I'm taking a trip to Israel, which I'm pretty excited for. I'm looking forward to buying that hookah ;] and riding camels instead of smoking them haha.

Well, this is my very first entry and I'm excited to expand my blog. I love to write and a lot of people have told me they love to read what I write haha, so here is me, writing for you. Life tends to have many troubles, we've all heard the "who said life was fair" bit yeahh..yeahh, anyways even though I know all these little problems will work themselves out eventually, its very hard not to think about them constantly. Their like children constantly nagging at you, asking for something, and whatever you give never seems to be enough. Even though there is nothing you can do to fix them, doesn't mean they'll get out of your mind.

But on a different note, it's truly amazing when one is captivated by few words with such enormous meaning, like hearing "I love you" from that special someone. They're only three small words, but they are the only three words that can make you melt inside. This poem is also an example:


Dreams by Langston Hughes

Hold fast to dreams
For if dreams die
Life is a broken-winged bird
That cannot fly.
Hold fast to dreams
For when dreams go
Life is a barren field
Frozen with snow.

Langston Hughes, in this poem, has the skill of saying as much as possible in as few words as possible. Although this poem is short, it's message remains behind long after read. I write poetry as well, I will post some on another blog. In fact, I enjoy reading and writing, I believe literature has much to offer. From what it has given me so far, I can't wait for what's ahead.